The untold secret of married life

Here's the untold secret of married life....!!!

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful & loving couple!" A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man.

"We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled. My wife quietly said, 'That's once'." "We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' "We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

"I started an angry protest over her treatment to the horse, while I was shouting; She looked at me, and quietly said, 'That's once'. " "And we lived happily ever after."

Men are like....

Men are like... Laxatives... They irritate the shit out of you.
Men are like... Bananas... The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like... Weather... Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like... Blenders... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like... Chocolate Bars... Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like... Commercials... You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like... Department Stores... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
Men are like... Government Bonds... They take soooooooo long to mature.
Men are like... Mascara... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like... Popcorn... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like... Snowstorms... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
Men are like... Lava Lamps... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like... Parking Spots... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.